Dr. Norm Wakefield: "The Joyful Dad"

Which Way Are You Going? 

In 1856 in a cemetery outside Chicago, Illinois, someone left the following tombstone inscription:  

Remember, man, as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you shall be,
So prepare yourself to follow me.

At some later date a creative person taped two additional lines to the inscription:

To follow you is not my intent,
Until I know which way you went!

Some individuals follow others without thinking whether their way is really what is best. They may be attracted to a winsome personality, a skill, or fame, but they don’t consider the consequences of that person’s lifestyle, values, or relationships.

William Burks, Jr., didn’t want to do that. William Burks, Sr., was a hard-working man of moral conviction. He impressed on young William the importance of honesty. But William, Sr., also worked long, exhausting hours to provide for his family. By the time he was fifteen years old, William, Jr., says, “I made a vow that when I had children, they were going to know me. Good or bad, they would know me.”

He finished college, got married, and started his career with the best of intentions. But he had inherited a workaholic’s legacy. He soon discovered that the Burks’ habit of being consumed with work had attached itself to him. As children were born, the same career demands that had kept William, Sr., from being with his children were now at work in William, Jr. He buried himself in long hours and a successful career.

Finally his wife said to him, “William, what we need around here is a father and a husband. We don’t need a slave. That’s what you’ve become to those businesses.”

The indictment stung with the truth. William recognized circumstances that indicated the Lord was redirecting his steps. He began to refocus his life so he could devote more time to his family. And he discovered that God made full provision for the family.

Now he wanted to protect his son from making his mistakes. So he sat the boy down to talk about his childhood, how he felt robbed of the joy of having his father around and how he had been guilty of doing the same thing.

As the father-son chat began to wind down, William, Jr., remarked, “Well, Son, I’m telling you all this because I can see you falling into the old Burks’ habits. I know how hard it is to leave that desk when it’s piled so high. But your little girl is never going to be six years old again. Your being with her is a gift beyond price and will forge a bond stronger than any iron your farrier granddad ever hammered.”

Time will tell whether William, Jr., helped his son overcome a negative inheritance. For now we must ask: Have we learned the lesson William, Jr., sought to pass on to his son?

---

Dr. Norm Wakefield is a popular author, speaker, seminary professor, and joyful dad to five happy, adult children. A few of his sought-after books are Legacy of Joy (written with his son-in-law), Men are from Israel, Women are from Moab(written with his daughter), and The Dad Difference (written with Josh McDowell).

"A six-year-old girl is a joy to be around."

--William Burks, Jr.