Dr. Norm Wakefield: "The Joyful Dad"

Freeze-Frame Memories

“He was laughing so hard that tears streamed down his face like little rivers of joy that stained his cheeks,” says my son-in-law, Mike. “It was hard to believe he had buried his mother a few hours earlier. But that was my grandfather, a man we called ‘Jidee,’ and a man who chose to mix a little joy into the drink we called grief.

“They had been close, Jidee and great-grandmother. He had cared for her for many years, faithfully stopping by her home each day to see that she was warm and fed. He planned each day around seeing his mother. She lived a long, full life.

“When the day came for her to leave this earth, my grandfather called me at college. ‘Please come home for the funeral,’ he said. ‘I’ll pay for your plane ticket.’ I came, and my sisters and I all cried tears of sorrow during the service.

“Later, exhausted, we retreated to Jidee’s house. As we sat in somber silence, a smile flickered on my grandfather’s face. He was remembering those special times a mother shares with her son. Curious, we begged him to tell us about growing up as an immigrant in the early 1900s.

“For the next two hours he regaled us with stories of his mother, his brother, his aunts and uncles. We laughed and cried and shouted and sighed and mourned and re-joiced all at the same time. And it was then he passed a bit of his legacy on to me, his grandson. A legacy that reminds me that there is joy to be found today, even in the midst of sorrow.”

Mike's story reminds me (Norm) of a different kind of joy story, one about the day I decided to surprise his nine-year-old daughter, Jody:

She had a passion for horses and The Black Stallion was playing at our local theater. I drove to Lookout Mountain Elementary School. I explained to the secretary that I was Jody’s dad and needed to take her out of school for the afternoon. We had an important event to attend. I hurried to her classroom and announced to the teacher that Jody was excused for the rest of the day.

When we got outside, she looked at me curiously and said, ‘How come you’re taking me out of class?’

I replied, ‘You remember that movie you said you can’t wait to see? Let’s go see it now!’

Her eyes lit up with delight. A big grin spread from ear to ear. She was absolutely thrilled that I had interrupted her day with the fun news. Years later she told me how much that surprise afternoon had meant to her—I had ‘wowed’ her! And I’m mighty glad that I acted on my impulse to share an afternoon of joy with Jody.

These are moments I call "freeze-frame memories." Those special times that children always remember--times of laughter, unexpected joy, and companionship. How about making a freeze-frame memory for your kids today?

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Dr. Norm Wakefield is a popular author, speaker, seminary professor, and joyful dad to five happy, adult children. A few of his sought-after books are Legacy of Joy (written with his son-in-law), Men are from Israel, Women are from Moab(written with his daughter), and The Dad Difference (written with Josh McDowell).

"I want my children to remember: Mom and Dad love each other. Home is a happy place to be."

—H.B. London, Jr.