It’s hard to overestimate the impact Max Lucado has had on modern-day Christendom.

For starters, he’s the pulpit minister of the three-thousand member megachurch, Oak Hills Church of Christ in San Antonio, Texas. But that’s not all. He’s also written bestseller after bestseller, and even released a praise and worship CD or two. In fact, his books alone have sold over 25 million copies—a number roughly equal to five times the entire population of the state of Tennessee!

Not long ago, Max wrote a book called, Just Like Jesus (Word Publishing), which explores how people can pattern their actions and attitudes after Christ. With that in mind, we joined Max for a dad-to-dad chat about what it means to be a father who is "just like Jesus." A proud papa of three daughters himself, Max had plenty to share.

MN: Let’s start off easy. How did you first begin a career as a writer?

ML: It’s a little bit of a circuitous route! I never had any desire or aspirations to write. What happened is, I did want to be a missionary and in the early 80s, in order to get in to Brazil as a missionary, you had to have at least two years of experience at a church or the government wouldn’t let you in. Well, I found a church in Miami, Florida— and it wasn’t easy to find one—the kind of church that would just let me work for two years as an associate minister. One of my jobs there was to write an article in the weekly church bulletin.

What I found, Mike, is I’d thoroughly enjoy writing those articles. I found that one of the ways God reveals what your gift is through really what you enjoy doing. And I just relished the time that I had to write that little four- or five-inch article…[So], I prayed about whether or not I should try to get some of my little columns published.

When I got to Brazil, I had time on my hands because I was studying Portuguese all day and so I had the evenings free. I used those evenings to take those articles and to clean them up, string them together and give them a common theme, and made the little manuscript out of it called On the Anvil. And I mailed that manuscript to fifteen different publishers and the fifteenth one said "Yes."

MN: You've written a book called Just Like Jesus. What do you think prevents a father from being just like Jesus in his relationship with his children?

ML: What prevents a father from being just like Jesus is not having a spiritual Father himself. The ultimate model of fatherhood is our heavenly Father and He invites us to have the kind of relationship with Him where we pray, "Our Father, who art in heaven," or "Our Abba, who art in heaven."

If I have that relationship with my Father, if I’m childlike enough in my heart where I will get on my knees and I’ll say, "Abba," and call Him "Papa," and call Him "Father," then that will enable me, I think, to be sensitive to what it’s like to be a child. If I forget that, if I become so self-sufficient that I don’t need a heavenly Father, then it will be very difficult for me to be the kind of father I need to be for my daughters.

MN: So would you say the greatest investment a father can make in his children is the investment he makes in the relationship with his heavenly Father?

ML: Absolutely. If I want to be a good father, I go to my Father and He tells me how to be a good father.

MN: What role would you recommend that prayer play in a father’s life?

ML: Prayer is the first, intermediate, and last step in regard to our children.

MN: What would you say are the greatest joys of fatherhood?

ML: Bedtime hugs. Honest questions that reflect a seeking heart. When your child is not embarrassed for you to show up and be with her friends.

MN: It sounds to me like you’re saying that the greatest joy is just being a treasured part of a child’s life.

ML: That’s exactly it.

MN: What’s your favorite Father’s Day memory?

ML: I might call it the most poignant Father’s Day memory and that’s the one I’ve had with my own father. The first Father’s Day after he died. I did not have a father to talk to on Father’s Day and so I sat down and I made a list of all the things I missed about my father. And I’ve never treasured him more as on that Father’s Day. That’s a very special time for me.

MN: When you look ahead in time, to the time when your daughters may sit down and make that list, what kinds of things do you hope they’ll write about you.

ML: I hope they will write, "He really tried to be a good dad. And even though he messed up, I know he really loved me."

MN: What would you say to the father who feels like he’s failed miserably in his efforts to be a father just like Jesus would be?

ML: I would say, "Never underestimate the power of God’s forgiveness and your children’s forgiveness." I really believe that God—there’s no doubt, of course—God forgives us. And I really believe our children will forgive us if we go to them and ask them. Our children want a father. And Satan tells fallen fathers, "You’ve gone too far to be a good dad." That’s wrong. Every person that I’ve ever talked to who had a difficult relationship with their father, still wanted a relationship with their father and so as long their child is alive, it’s never too late to go back and say, "I’m sorry."

MN: What’s the biggest lesson a father could learn from Jesus’ example?

ML: When I look at wanting to be just like Jesus, I think about the time that Jesus, on the night before He was crucified, washed his disciples’ feet. Of all the people in that room who deserved to have their feet washed, Jesus deserved to have His feet washed. I mean, when it came to the totem pole, to the pecking order of the people in that upper room, Jesus was at the top. But He placed Himself at the bottom.

Now we dads tend to place ourselves at the top of the pecking order in our houses. I have my favorite chair and I don’t like my daughters sitting in that chair. And sometimes I allow that chair to be a throne! It wouldn’t hurt me to say, "Oh, you sit over there. I’ll sit on the couch." Now what’s the big deal about that? That, in a minuscule way, is getting down before my daughters and washing their feet…I think what Jesus teaches us about being a good father is being a servant father.

MN: What advice would you give to a man who, for one reason or another, isn’t able to live with his children but still wants to be a father "just like Jesus" anyway?

ML: First of all, I would say my heart just really goes out to them. My brother’s in that situation. Because of a divorce, he’s unable to be with his two sons. So my heart just breaks for those situations. But I think there are three things that father can do.

Number one, the father who is separated from his child, he must be a very devoted prayer warrior for that child.

Secondly, he must write regular letters to his children. And the reason that I urge letters is because phone calls, as valuable as they are, are not there when the child needs encouragement. Hang up the phone, the message is over. But if you write a letter, the child can keep a shoebox full and maybe, some lonely night, go back in and pull them out.

And then, thirdly—this is something I’m doing for my daughters any dad could do, but especially those who are away from their children—I’m compiling a book of wisdom for each one of them. Which is kind of funny ‘cause I’m not that wise of a guy! [But] I’ve got a little spiral notebook for each one of them. When something pops in my head, I go write it in that notebook. And when they turn eighteen, I’m going to take that collection of thoughts to somebody who can, do calligraphy and write real nicely and ask them to put it in a very well-bound book that they can keep with them.

I see, especially those dads who are not with their children, that would be a wonderful gift ‘cause I’m sure they have a lot of wisdom they could share with their children. That would be one way to do that.

MN: In closing, is there a verse of Scripture that you would recommend as a theme verse for dads?

ML: Hebrews 6:10, and I’m looking at the New Century Version translation. It says, "God is fair. He will not forget the work you did and the love you showed for Him by helping His people." We dads tend to think that no one’s noticing the efforts we put into raising our children. But God notices and He’s fair and He won’t forget the work that we’ve done.

To contact Max Lucado, send a letter to: Oak Hills Church of Christ, 19595 IH-10 West, San Antonio, TX, 78257.