"Actually, I hate Sundays," says Dennis^*. "They are, by far, my least favorite day of the week. It's not that I'm a fallen, backsliding, no-good church-skipper. We're there, week after grueling week. [It’s] having to dress the kids and get all the wagons circled. No fun."

If we’re honest, we’ve all felt a bit like Dennis at least once in the past month, viewing Sunday with dread, almost grateful for Monday to begin.

What’s happened? Sundays should be the pinnacle of our family’s week, the day we adopt the Jewish practice of rest and combine it with the Christian celebration of Christ’s resurrection. Yet somewhere along the way, we’ve allowed the joy inherent in the day to get overshadowed by expectations that make our church-going day pressure-packed and no fun for anyone. As Angela^* says, ""Church does nothing to make Sundays special for the families. Or maybe I should say people mess up church by putting too much pressure on what you do that day."

Sound familiar? Well it doesn’t have to anymore. With a little refocusing, you can help return a bit of Sunday’s special-ness into the life of your family. Here’s how…

To be honest, what you do on Sunday isn’t what makes it special—it’s whom you do it with. Recently we were playing a travel game with our eight-year-old son, Tony. He would read a question, and we’d take turns answering.

At one point Tony read, "If you could travel through time, where would you go?" We gave our answers, highlighting important moments in history. When it was Tony’s turn, he said without hesitation, "I’d go back to when Grampa was my age. Then we could be friends and do stuff together."

For Tony, it didn’t matter what would be going on, it only mattered that his Grandfather would be there. His greatest desire was simply to be with a family member.

That same attitude can make a huge difference in your family’s Sunday experience, so try making Sunday a "Family Day." That is, a day when everyone in the family does things together. You don’t have to schedule a family outing every week, but do avoid scheduling anything that will separate family members.

For example, do you like to watch football on Sunday afternoons? Pop popcorn, collect board games to play during commercials, and gather the whole family in front of the TV for the big game. Do your kids enjoy outdoor activities? Go out and play with them! Want to get together with friends for lunch? Invite the friend’s whole family—and bring yours along too.

Making Sunday a family day not only enriches the experience and strengthens relationships, it creates lasting, joyful memories upon which your kids can build a happy life of faith and family.

By far, the biggest complaint families have about Sundays is the stress of the day. Surprisingly, 90 percent of that pressure is self-inflicted! We become so obsessed with the minor aspects of the day—dressing just right, arriving to church on time, having angelic kids, lunch ready to serve, and so on—it saps Sunday’s meaning.

We need to remember that people (i.e. your family members!) matter to God more than activities (Sunday school, football, lunch, and so on) or ego-boosting impressions ("You look stunning today!"). Believe it or not, the church won’t kick you out if you arrive without a coat and tie. They won’t cancel Sunday school or delay worship if you walk in 15 minutes late. And everyone can enjoy sandwiches instead of pot roast for lunch.

By the way, it’s no sin to cultivate a relaxed attitude on Sunday. Hebrews 4:9-11 eloquently declares that God intends a "Sabbath-rest" for His children, both here and in eternity to come. When we allow that God-given rest to take precedence on Sundays, we allow a little bit of heaven to reach us here on earth.

Shannon and Barry Williams learned this truth firsthand. Shannon says, ""As a family, we focus on what’s best for our family and not what people expect of us. We like to go to worship as a family—usually we only go to church or Sunday school. It’s just too difficult with four little ones to do both. After that we have family lunch and family naps (the best part!)."

This determination to make Sunday a relaxing day has done wonders for the Williams—and that focus on a "no-stress day" can make Sunday special for your family too.

When our son was three, he loved going to Sunday school. His teacher was a caring woman who made church appealing for Tony. At four, he graduated into a new class. Again, his teacher was a caring individual who did her best to make Sunday school interesting and spiritually worthwhile. But this time, Tony hated the class, turning every Sunday morning into a tearful experience for him.

When we dug deeper into Tony’s discomfort, we found out his teacher required all boys to remove their hats upon entering her class. For most children, that wouldn’t be a big deal, but at four, Tony’s baseball cap was a part of his personality—and a source of comfort, much like a security blanket.

Tony’s teacher was unwilling to bend her "no hats" rule, thus Tony began to view church as a hostile environment. All the teacher’s excellent lessons were wasted on our son. He was too busy worrying about when he’d get his hat back!

When we realized the hat rule was an obstacle to Tony enjoying church, we allowed him to switch to a less formal children’s church program that permitted him to keep his cap on. In turn, that helped him focus on the lessons. Within weeks he was skipping down the hall ahead of us, eager to get to church and learn about God.

What do your kids like and dislike about their church experience? Do you know? If you take time to discover that information, you can "play to your strengths" and minimize the weaknesses of your church’s program. Do they dislike long sermons? See if you can get them in a class that emphasizes activity-learning over passive, lecture-style lessons. Do your kids like singing? Try involving them in children’s church instead of Sunday school. Is church too long for your kids? Consider going to only one service instead of two.

Until you find out your children’s specific likes and dislikes, you can’t do much to make Sunday a more special day for your kids.

Last, but certainly not least, we need to remember to consult God about this special day. All our best plans and intentions are useless unless God chooses to be involved. Pray regularly that God would use Sundays to draw your family closer to Him and closer together. When He answers that prayer, you’ll find it makes Sunday more special than anything you could do on your own.

SIDEBAR

"About the Sunday morning thing. We don't do anything different besides getting up at a different time and putting on nicer clothes. One thing I always try to do is to pray binding the devil from us, because he always seems to like to attack us on Sunday mornings…When I've prayed this prayer, I find the conflicts simply do not materialize."—Jefferson Scott

"My family and I always have Sunday night cookouts in the backyard. That's not very exciting, but it is a lovely way to send some family time together."—Linda Evans Shepherd

"We’re in an unique position with children and Sunday mornings, since we play in the worship band. Our family gets up at 5:30 am - 6:00 am and practically rushes into high gear with clothes, food, and clean-up before heading off to the church…We’re usually not out of the church until 12:30 - 1:00 in the afternoon. To say the least, our kids are pretty spent by the time we get home. So in terms of planning something special, I wish we could say we do, but we don't. Maybe, a fun activity tied into the hectic day would help our kids with getting more excited about going to church."—Kurt Garland

"What makes Sunday special for me? Just spending it with my family. That’s all."—Tony Nappa