I once challenged an atheist to pray this simple prayer for seven days: "God, show me the value of prayer. Amen." My "atheist" friend refused the challenge. He was afraid of what might happen. Deep down, he was worried his prayer might be answered. Then he’d have to change his carefully thought out disbelief—and he didn’t want to give God that chance to mess up his life.

Since 95% of Americans have experienced answers to prayer¹ , that poor atheist had reason to be concerned. Even though he couldn’t intellectually admit the existence of God, the truth remains that God does exist and He does answer prayers.

Like the time Mother Teresa prayed that war in Lebanon would stop long enough for her to rescue 37 children trapped in a hospital in a Beirut fighting zone. The battle had been going on nonstop for months—until the day Mother Teresa said it was time to go in. Without warning, just as Mother Teresa finished preparing to enter the battle area, the guns and bombs suddenly fell silent. The impromptu cease-fire continued until all 37 children were safely out of the city, then the war resumed.²

Or the time Reggie White prayed that God would heal torn ligaments in his knee in time for him to play an important football game for the Green Bay Packers. (God healed him.)³

Or the time my church prayed for a boy named Trent. Doctors had discovered an enormous blood clot that ran from his leg up into his torso, and they were unable to treat it completely. People in our church took shifts praying for 24 hours straight. Next time he went to the doctor, that huge clot was 90% gone. Soon after, it had disappeared entirely.

When I think of stories like that, sometimes it makes me wonder what I’ve been doing wrong. Because I know God does answer prayer, it makes it all the more frustrating for me when my own prayers aren’t—and unfortunately that happens more often than I’d like to admit.

I prayed for Nina Brooks for awhile. Like Trent, she was a much-loved member of our congregation. She was the sister of our associate pastor, and a loving wife and mother. And she had a deteriorating liver that was killing her. Her only hope was a liver transplant, but years passed and no liver was available for her.

Nina’s condition became critical. The hospital searched frantically for a liver to transplant. And we prayed. Boy, did we pray! Our entire church prayed for weeks, then months, for this woman—much longer than we’d prayed for Trent. Nina slipped in and out of a coma. Then, in spite of our prayers, she died in a hospital bed.

I’ve found that I’m not the only one whose prayers sometimes go unanswered.

Jeff was in college and a leader in his church’s college group when he prayed, "God, let me feel you. Give me some kind of feeling of You to help me know you’re real."

Then he waited.

And waited.

And waited some more. Finally, Jeff quit waiting, quit going to church, quit reading his Bible and quit praying. He never got that "feeling" of God’s presence, so he turned his back on Christianity and moved on to something else.

Isaac is a junior in high school. A few years ago, his family took a big leap and opened a small Italian restaurant in town. It was a great hit! Everyone who ate there loved it, and it got excellent word-of mouth reviews all over town. The only trouble was it wasn’t making any money.

Isaac’s family poured everything they had into the restaurant. Isaac even worked in the kitchen and filled in as a busboy. All the while Isaac and his family prayed for God to meet the financial needs of the restaurant and their family.

They lasted about a year and a half, then had to file bankruptcy, sell their house and car to pay as much of their debt as possible, and close the restaurant doors. Isaac’s dad now works as a glass installer, and Isaac doesn’t understand why God didn’t answer their prayers.

At times like these, my soul screams, "God, we prayed! Nothing happened! Now what?" I can’t understand why God would work a miracle so Reggie White can play in a football game, and yet do what seems like nothing when the mother of teenagers in my church is left to die, or when a young man turns from God, or when a teenager sees his family go bankrupt.

Oh, I’ve heard all the standard answers: "Remember, God answers prayers sometimes yes, sometimes no, and sometimes maybe so!" "Remember, God’s timing isn’t the same as ours!" "Remember, God’s going to bring something even better into your life!"

And I’ve heard all the standard excuses: "You didn’t pray long enough." "You didn’t pray sincerely enough." "Your prayer was a selfish one." "You must have some sin in your life that blocked your prayer."

Somehow, none of these standard comments give me much comfort—and I’m betting they don’t do much for you and Nina Brooks’ children either.

So what do I do? I prayed, nothing happened. Now what? Well, it helps me to remember some things.

First, I remember that I’m not alone. In fact, like me (and maybe you too!) Jesus felt the pain of a seemingly unanswered prayer. The Bible reveals in Matthew 26:36-46 that Jesus prayed for deliverance from a "cup of suffering"—that is, his impending death on the cross. (Come to think of it, I’d pray for deliverance from that too!) That request was left unanswered, and Jesus’ died brutally...

...then returned to life again having defeated the power of sin and death. Because of that I now have the privilege of knowing God—and praying to Him!

I also remember that God does answer my prayers, just not always in ways that I notice or fully understand. Sometimes instead of asking "Did God answer my prayer?" I need to ask, "How did God answer my prayer?" I prayed for Nina Brooks to be healed. Maybe God’s answer in that situation was to bring Nina into His heavenly kingdom where He could give her a new body that’s healed for eternity. (See Philippians 3:20-21 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).

And I remember that prayer isn’t just a spiritual version of Santa’s toy sack. God never intended my prayers to be wish lists filled solely with my requests for what I think I need. Rather, prayer is a vehicle by which I can miraculously pursue intimacy with the all-powerful God.

So, in that sense, I suppose something happens every time I pray. I make contact with eternity. I get a chance to let God know how I feel, to laugh and cry in my Father’s presence, and to trust God no matter how life’s circumstances turn out.

Perhaps instead of whining, "I prayed, nothing happened," I need to learn how to simply say, "I prayed. That’s enough." 

Maybe you need to learn that too.

SIDEBAR

The Numbers on Prayer⁴

•Nine out of 10 Americans practice prayer; three out of four pray every day.

•Two-thirds of America’s teenagers report that they "pray every week."

•Three-fourths of American teens pray at least once a month.

•Sixty-two percent of teenagers and young adults believe God hears all prayers and has the power to answer them.

•Overwhelming numbers of Americans pray: 1) for their families (98%); and 2) for forgiveness (92%).

•More than half of Christian teenagers pray "for God’s help for others."

•Forty percent of church-going teenagers say they’re interested in "learning how to pray."

Note: An adapted version of this article is now available—along with many other inspiring selections, in the book A Heart Like His by Mike & Amy Nappa (Barbour Publishing)